From the Heart
by shestarsky
Summary: Callen in a dark place, how Nell tries to be there for him.
1. Chapter 1

**From the Heart**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything or anyone from NCIS LA, I only wish I did.**

**This idea has been rolling around in my brain for weeks, I've tried to put it in words and make it short and concise, and obviously that didn't work. It just meandered on and on in fact now I'm going to have to write a second chapter to show Callen's pov.**

Nell was always one of the first to come in, partly because she needed to get her research started before the agents came in and partly because she had always been a morning person. This morning was no exception as she walked into the mostly empty building.

Making her way upstairs she could see that none of the agents had come in yet, not even Callen. At least she didn't think he was here; you could never be really sure about the man, he was very accomplished at hiding in plain sight. However she hadn't seen his car outside or any sign of his spending the night on the couch in the bullpen.

When she reached her desk she pulled a CD case out of her purse before stowing it away. As she turned on the computer systems and got ready for the work day Nell tried to decide how to get the CD to Callen without his knowledge, not something she was looking forward to. For all her skills as an analyst Nell knew she was sorely lacking in sneaky, behind your back, trying to hide things from a super-agent skills.

She had seen how down Callen had been lately, it seemed as if the case with the Chameleon had plunged him deep in a dark place where no one could reach. The expression on his face when the Chameleon threatened to kill everyone he cared about had been heartbreaking. It had taken all of Hetty's considerable skills of persuasion to keep him from going Lone Wolf and trying to hunt the psyco down on his own.

Just when it seemed that Callen was returning to normal the situation with Draco Comescu and the Small Pox scare had come along. At the time that he shot and killed Draco there hadn't been time for Callen to deal with the emotions brought to the surface. He had needed to concentrate on finding the remaining Small Pox vials and making sure a crisis was averted.

Once the Small Pox threat had been taken care of and the visiting officers from Hawaii had returned home things had settled down allowing the dark thoughts to overtake Callen.

Oh he came in to work every day and joked and chatted with everyone but if you looked closely you could see the dark shadows in his eyes. No one could ever find him at the end of the day when the team was going out for drinks. Plus he had started to back away from their budding relationship using the excuse of the age difference between them.

It had taken such a long time for Callen to ask her out; first there had been the months of longing looks between the two, then came the flirting whenever no one was around to catch them. Finally he had asked her to dinner and from there they had started spending whatever free time they had together.

Not anymore though, he had trotted out the _I'm too old for you card along with why would you want to be with me and all my issues._ Sam had warned her when he first figured out they were seeing each other; he had told her about G's abandonment issues and how he had been shuffled thru so many foster homes as a kid. He had also told her how Callen would put up walls to try and keep people out if they got to close, how he could turn off his emotions and descend into darkness with little warning.

Nell had assured Sam she could handle anything G threw in her path; she was in love with him and had been for quite some time. Now it was time for her to show him that he wouldn't be able to push her away; that she wasn't going to run and hide from his demons.

Of course for her to explain this to him Callen had to stop avoiding her; he didn't answer her phone calls or texts unless they were work related. She had tried tracking him down at the office but as soon as he saw her he vanished or surrounded his self with the rest of the team.

Since she hadn't been able to tell him how she felt; how she would always be there for him Nell had decided to give him the CD. Perhaps it was silly, almost like the old mix tapes you made for your boyfriend in high school but the words in this song said exactly how she felt. She had been listening to Adele's music for weeks; even shed a few tears here and there, but once she heard this song it had touched something deep in her soul. The words were the ones that told what was in her heart; what would always be in her heart for Callen.

_When the rain  
Is blowing in your face  
And the whole world  
Is on your case  
I could offer you  
A warm embrace  
To make you feel my love_

When the evening shadows  
And the stars appear  
And there is no - one there  
To dry your tears  
I could hold you  
For a million years  
To make you feel my love

I know you  
Haven't made  
Your mind up yet  
But I would never  
Do you wrong  
I've known it  
From the moment  
That we met  
No doubt in my mind  
Where you belong

_[ Lyrics from: .com/lyrics/a/adele/make_you_feel_my_ ]__  
I'd go hungry  
I'd go black and blue  
I'd go crawling  
Down the avenue  
Know there's nothing  
That I wouldn't do  
To make you feel my love_

The storms are raging  
On the rolling sea  
And on the highway of regret  
The winds of change  
Are blowing wild and free  
You ain't seen nothing  
Like me yet

I could make you happy  
Make your dreams come true  
Nothing that I wouldn't do  
Go to the ends  
Of the Earth for you  
To make you feel my love, To make you feel my love

Looking around to make sure no one was watching Nell slipped the CD into a manila envelope and wrote his name on the front. Keeping an eye out to make sure she was unobserved she made her way down to the bullpen and dropped it on his desk before scurrying back upstairs before anyone came in.

**The Song is Make You Feel My Love, it was written by Bob Dylan. It has been covered by quite a few artists, the version I've worn out is by Adele.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Callen's turn**

As Callen walked down the hallway he could see Nell drop something on his desk and rush back upstairs. Damm her why wouldn't she just leave him alone. Couldn't she understand that it was dangerous for her to be with him?

Being with Nell had made him the happiest he had ever been but as soon as the Chameleon had threatened to kill everyone he cared about Callen knew he had to end it with her. Spending time with her would have been signing her death certificate.

So he had done whatever he could to stay away from her; refusing to answer her calls or texts unless they were work related. He only spoke to her in the presence of someone else, not giving her a chance to trap him into a personal conversation. Hell he didn't even go home at night afraid she would come over and wear him down.

It actually caused him physical pain to be near her and not reach out and touch her soft skin; to feel her lips under his, to hear her soft moans whispered in his ear. Callen had seriously considered asking Hetty to transfer Nell to another team; the only thing stopping him had been the knowledge that he could protect her better if he knew where she was. That plus the picture of the fit she would have thrown; that had actually brought a smile to his face.

He walked over to his desk and looked at the envelope like it was a snake. If he was smart he would pick it up and take it straight to the deposal room and incinerate it. As he reached out to pick it up the rest of the team came in; not wanting to answer any questions he shoved it in his bag before starting the day's work.

It wasn't until many hours later as he dropped his tired sore body into the driver's seat of his Jag that he saw the corner peeking out at him. Tiredly he pulled it out and opened the envelope and let the CD case drop into his hand. Staring at the case he rubbed one hand over his face before shoving the disc in the player.

Leaning back against the seat he closed his eyes as the music started to play and the woman's voice flowed thru the speakers.

_When the rain is blowing in your face_

_ And the whole world is on your case_

_ I could offer you a warm embrace_

_ To make you feel my love_

Each word felt like a raindrop on his battered heart bringing it back to life.

_When the evening shadows and the stars appear_

_ And there is no – one there to dry your tears_

_ I could hold you for a million years_

_ To make you feel my love_

He wanted to turn off the music, make the words stop before he did something he would regret.

_I know you haven't made your mind up yet_

_ But I would never do you wrong_

_ I've known it from the moment that we met_

_ No doubt in my mind where you belong_

How could this woman's words reach into his soul like a healing balm?

_I'd go hungry I'd go black and blue_

_ I'd go _crawling_ down the avenue_

_ Know there's nothing that I wouldn't do_

_ To make you feel my love_

He could almost feel Nell's presence beside him.

_The storms are raging on the rolling sea_

_ And on the highway of regret_

_The winds of change are blowing wild and free_

_ You ain't seen nothing like me yet_

Tears were forming in his eyes.

_I could make you happy make your dreams come true_

_ Nothing that I wouldn't do_

_ Go to the ends of the Earth for you_

_ To make you feel my love, To make you feel my love_

The song came to an end; there was a pause before it started again, the words breaking down all the barriers he had erected against her. Opening his eyes he looked out the window his one thought to find Nell.

Looking up he saw her; tears in her eyes as she watched him, her arms hugging herself.

Getting out of the car he sent her a smile opening his arms to catch her as she flew towards him.

No words were spoken, none were needed.


End file.
